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- PARENT TOOLBOX
Children can be referred to her by parents or teachers but if students feel they need to see the counsellor they can pop a letter into the letterbox to make an appointment. The role-play approach is being followed as the default protocol to enable children to enjoy the counselling sessions and find it as a welcoming platform to discuss their concerns in total confidence.
If parents and children need counselling at the same time we recommend that parents pursue counselling at the Christian Counseling Centre, and then the pupil remain with counselling with Mrs Phillipson.
KIDS SUPPORT GROUPS (kids in separation/divorce/death/loss/grief situations) will start on the second Monday of each term for Grade 5 (overage born in 2006 only), Grade 6 and Grade 7 children; and on the second Tuesday of each term for overage Grade, 2’s born 2009, Grade 3, 4 and 5 (born in 2007) children from 1:50 to 2:50 pm on both days.
Your child is welcome to come to the support group, even if they have been part of the Kids support groups previously. We do recommend though, that they have a terms break between doing “KIDS” group again so that they can work through some of their issues.
Mrs. B. Ferreira
Contact: 0783 578 943
Play Therapy Play is their Language, toys are their words. As a play therapist we are trained to develop a warm and friendly relationship of TRUST and CONFIDENTIALITY with the children (What you say in here…the children are encouraged to talk) and to create a safe place where children can feel accepted and free to express their feelings, where they decide what and how they will play (Anger Rules …as long as not hurting themselves, me or things) – this choosing empowers them and gives them a feeling of control when their world seems out of control – it promotes self-responsibility and helps develop positive self-esteem.
To have one on one time with an adult who is impartial and accepts them exactly as they are, who listens and reflects what they are saying and feeling and helps them come up with their own solutions to issues and to develop their coping mechanisms brings about the change in them. Play therapy is not a quick fix – some children change slower than others –on average a child is seen for about eight 30-40 minute sessions on a regular basis
Process – Initial interview with parents to build a picture of the child and their situation - (without child)
Basically when the child comes for their first appointment I tell them this is our special time together and that this room is not a classroom but a place where they can play with all the toys, games etc in many different ways. Usually the child, then look around the room and starts playing.
They may say something alongside their playing, they are in charge and are free to express themselves in anyway as long as they don’t hurt. Each child and situation is different – some come in confidently – others sheepishly or scared there may be something wrong with them or they are in trouble – by the second session they usually are relaxed and communicate freely with their play etc.
In subsequent sessions the child experiences and identifies their emotions, explore situations, act out troublesome issues, role play, relax and have fun. When the child shows progress and is more self-confident, and their behavioural and emotional functioning shows improvement then it becomes apparent that the play therapy needs to begin to come to an end. We talk together about this and plan for the last session so that the child is prepared for the termination.
I know that God is the healer and I am just one of the vessels He uses. Prayer and God’s Word the Bible, play a big part in the counselling process here at Gateway. What a privilege to be able to pray for and with your children; and to share God’s Word with them. Quite often at the end of a session when we pray, a child will share a deep need in their life and this may indicate what is really troubling them.
Behind these presenting “problems” there can be deeper issues eg. Anger Iceberg
IQ VERSUS EQ (An intelligence quotient (IQ) is a score derived from one of several standardized tests designed to assess intelligence.
An Emotional quotient (EQ) or emotional intelligence is a “person's ability to identify, evaluate, control and express emotions.” It helps us communicate with others, negotiate situations and develop clear thought patterns.
So, Emotional intelligence – plays a big part in how children cope with situations and circumstances in their lives :
These are Daniel Goleman’s five components of emotional intelligence. Emotional Intelligence, You can see how each of these elements would contribute to an individual's personal success and sense of well-being etc.
As parents/teachers, when we don’t have a healthy way of handling emotions ourselves, we have trouble teaching our kids to handle theirs. That is why the change starts with us. Fortunately, all five components of emotional intelligence can be taught and learned at any age. There are many tools and techniques that can help us and our children start to identify and understand the emotions of ourselves and others.
Teach them COMMUNICATION SKILLS ‘I messages’ rather than ‘you’ messages. Don’t say ‘you never or you always” 12. Comment when our children show self-control etc ‘I like the way you stayed calm when he was raising his voice -That showed a lot of self-control’. You really stayed calm when you were doing that puzzle, even when you couldn’t find the right piece –you just kept on trying. 13. Talk about our own feelings/ what it is like for you ‘I feel so frustrated when I start to say something and I get interrupted’ ‘ ‘I love it when I come home to a tidy kitchen.’ ‘I’m feeling a bit low…I think I need to chat with Auntie Louise. 14. Model how to remain calm and in control when we are angry ‘I’ve had a rough day at work – can we talk about this later when I’ve had a chance to cool off?’
Starting from Grade 1 Emotional Intelligence is being encouraged in our Life Skills Lessons.
The children are being taught about their different feelings – positive and negative feelings (not just happy and sad -worry, fear, jealousy anger disappointed, excited, content, stressed) and appropriate expression of them, listening skills, problem solving skills, teasing and bullying issues, kindness, empathy, choices and consequences, self-control, persevering, discernment, body safety, loss and grief, and so much more. With regards Loss and Grief, Mrs Rowley and I run KIDS SUPPORT GRIEF Groups on Mondays and Tuesday for children of Grade 3 to 7 age.
An issue we tend to find with children is that they don’t feel that they always have someone who has time to listen, to understand in this busy world of ours, our extended families are also scattered . The children often don’t want to cause more pain to parents eg. They see their parents hurting through a divorce so they try not to show their feelings and concerns, or they may feel embarrassed or scared about a situation eg. Viewed pornography. Please can I encourage you to turn off your phones etc, and to enjoy quality Family Time on a regular basis.